Day 4: 13yrs and still waiting.....

Here's a little background for those of you who don't know our story! For those of you who follow my blog thanks for your loyalty! I hope you enjoy the 31 days of blogging!!

My name is Cathy. My hubby is Mark. My nickname for him is babycakes. Hence how the name "Waiting on our baby cake" came about. Mark and I have been married for 13yrs! Shortly after we married I was diagnosed with PCOS. We started on clomid right away. It made me crazy and I stopped after one round. We haven't been hardcore TTC but we haven't been trying to prevent it either. Earlier last year (2013) we decided to move forward on our journey to starting a family. I have had the same OBGYN for 12 years. In April we decided to get a second opinion. We loved the new Doctor the moment we met him. Within three weeks I had started femera and our first IUI was scheduled. You can read  about our first IUI experience In a previous blog:) We have had three unsuccessful IUI's. We had an IVF in March on 2014, it was unsuccessful as well! We have not lost hope! We are still waiting for our miracle! We still believe God will provide!

Day 3 Stop.....

I hate to wait!! We wait at the Dr. Office, grocery store, bank line, school line, red lights, trains, and much more. Have I mentioned I don't like to wait?!?! I really don't like to wait when I'm running late. What if we looked at waiting from a different perspective. Think about this...when we are waiting what if used our time to work for us instead of feeling like its wasted. What if we prayed over our Dr., store clerk, teller, our child's school/teacher, our city and country leaders. What would happen to our attitudes if we used our waiting time more productive? It's only a few minutes that we spend waiting in a line but in short time a simple prayer can change the world!! Be a world changer!!!

Day 2: A Little Longer

On average everyday we spend 60 minutes waiting. Today I painted my finger nails and I had to WAIT for them to dry. I realized how impatient I was. I wanted them to instantly be dry and beautiful. Sometimes I think we are like that with God. He wants us to take a little time to "dry" and we want  immediate gratification. We want our situation to be quickly resolved. 

 While I'm waiting for my nails to dry my phone rings it's a call I've been waiting for. I grab the phone with fingers spread apart so I don't scuff them. But guess what?!?! No matter how careful I was, I scuffed them. 

I didn't give them enough time to finish processing, to completely dry! We are like that with God. He didn't answer our prayers fast enough so we take matters into our own hands. I didn't have time to redo them so I'm wearing them with scuff marks. Like my nails, we all have imperfections and flaws. 

After a week of having polish on my nails the polish begins to chips and peel off. When we going through stormy seasons of life if we are patient with God and WAIT on him He can eventually chip away and peel back each of our layers. With each layer peeled away the closer we are to being the person God created us to be. When we spend quiet time with Him and in the word it lets God work on us from the inside out. God can then develop our character and strengthen us. The next time we go through a tough situation we will be a little bit stronger and we have a little more endurance to stay the course. 

Waiting isn't the greatest thing we do but it is a necessity. 

Day 1: Intro

Sweet Friends,

Please join me as I write for the next 31 days! Topics will vary but they will remain inspirational and uplifting! I'm sure we will share some laughs and some tears! I hope you enjoy our time together in the next weeks! 

I will give you a short intro...I'm Cathy. I'm a simple christian girl who has been married for 13years. I just turned 33. Mark and I married when I was 20. We have been trying for a family our entire marriage. So waiting isn't anything new to us. I will share some more about our journey and infertility in the coming days. If you have any  questions or are on the same path and need encouragement, I'm your girl! 

See you all tomorrow!! 

Cathy

The Morning After......

The Morning After......

There are so many morning afters, things we do that we will regret the next day. Hangovers, affairs, financial decisions and many more. But what about the morning afters that we don't plan for, that happen unexpectedly. The morning after loosing someone you love so dearly, is one of the hardest days to process.

I woke up this morning hoping that the news that my beloved mom passing away yesterday was a nightmare. That I could pick up the phone and call her to tell her my brothers from Iowa were coming for a visit. All 6 of us siblings would be together again!! I couldn't. It's real. We are coming together to celebrate the life she lived. The ones she taught to love and to live life to the fullest will honor her on Monday!!

Mom taught us so many things: each of us got our independence, stubbornness, values and morals from her. She was an amazing baker (I didn't inherit that gene. All the others did), hard worker and loved each of us unconditionally. Each of us will have the things we will miss most about her. What I will miss most about her is that my children will never get to meet the greatest "Nanny" that ever lived!!!

Mom showed us how to be tough and with time we will persevere. I know she will continue to be so proud of each of us!!

If you knew our Mom you didn't call her by her name Serita you called her "Mom" or "Nanny" like her kids and grandkids did. The neighborhood kids loved her. Everyone who met her loved her. I can say I am the woman I am today because of her.  Mom was a true Proverbs Virtuous Woman. The Bible say in Proverbs 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed. And BLESSED she was!!!

Defeated

I will never forget sitting in staff meeting discussing "The Messiah" my phone on vibrate begins to buzz. I look at it, it's the Doctors office calling with my results of my pregnancy test from the IVF that we had done two weeks prior. My heart sinks, I get nervous. No matter what the news is our lives will forever be changed. Either we are pregnant!!! Or we are not. In that moment I had a choice to make. How I was going to react to the news. I answered the phone and the sweet nurse asked "are you alone?" In that moment my worst fear was confirmed. I wasn't pregnant! The IVF, everything my body and Mark and I had been through was unsuccessful. I felt defeated.

I walked back into staff meeting with tears stinging my eyes but my head held high! I text Mark with the news. He called immediately checking on me! He was just as devastated as I. I made it through the staff meeting. Then I lost it as I told a my boss and a few others. Mark and I took the rest of the day off and the next just to wrap are heads around the news and decide our next steps. This day was the hardest part of our journey, thus far!

All day Tuesday I allowed myself to grieve and be mopey. On Wednesday morning when I woke up I had a choice the make. I could live in defeat. Allow myself to become angry, bitter and depressed. Which is where I was headed.  Or I could lift my head, admit this is only a mountain not the end. My hubby was my rock. He was ready to talk about our next steps, to move forward right away. I was ready to quit (Just being honest)! Instead of quitting I chose to believe this wasn't "The End". It was just a step closer to the finish line. It wasn't easy but I took one day at a time. One healing hug at a time from the people who love us, pray for us and care for us!

Did I question God? Of course! Did I think I was on the wrong path? For a moment, Yes!! I asked myself how could our IVF be so easy, so peaceful and be unsuccessful! Some of my questions may never be answered. Through my pain I became a little stronger, a little wiser and voice to other couples who might experience the same loss and pain. If one couple doesn't have to go through infertility alone but can hear our story and be encouraged then we are not defeated. We are Victorious!!

It's been awhile....

Boy have I missed writing! I can't believe it's been about two months. I'm so sorry! So much has happened.  Our fundraiser was amazing. A cold front came in the day of and it was freezing! Our support system didn't let that stop them! They showed up in a big way! We raised enough money to cover our IVF meds!  We started the IVF process in Feb by starting birth control. On 3/7 I went for my baseline blood work and ultrasound.  On  4/8 we received the devastating call that out IVF was unsuccessful! Mark and I were so heartbroken! I have to tell you for us the IVF process was a breeze. From the daily injections to the egg retrieval to transfer. I didn't have any complications through the whole process and for that I am so thankful! The hardest part was the traveling back and forth to Houston every other day. It got very tiring.  But once again our support system came through. We were trying to use Marks vacation days sparingly so when he couldn't go our friends stepped up and went with me! One  of my dearest friends went with me to 3 appointments in one week! She even went into the room with me! At one point I had some pain and she even held my hand! Now that's a true friend:)  After that appointment my friend said " WOW! I'm learning more about conception than I ever thought possible". So true! Mark and I have learned so much about our bodies and how they function! It's so funny!  I plan on writing another blog soon with more details about our personal experience during IVF.  We have a follow-up appointment with our Doctor  on 4/22. We do plan on doing one more round of IVF. Until next time......Much Love~The Mosley's