Q & A Part 1

The reason I started this blog is to help others. Tonight I thought it would be wise to ask family and friends if they could ask me anything about infertility what would they ask! I got some awesome, thought poking questions. So here we go........

Remember this my opinion and my feelings, not medical advice and please no judging;)

Q. Describe why your condition and/or Marks issues cause infertility.

A. The issues are mine:) Of course we are in this together but my body is the one not working properly.  I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2001.Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age.

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female endocrine disorder, affecting approximately 5%-10% of all females. PCOS is a hormonal disorder that involves multiple organ systems within the body, and is believed to be fundamentally caused by insensitivity to the hormone insulin. It can be diagnosed in all phases of life - in girls as young as 8-9 years of age, up through post-menopause. Although PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility, the reproductive aspects of the disorder are secondary. PCOS is not limited to women of reproductive age or potential.
Common symptoms of PCOS include:

• irregular or no menstrual periods (for women of reproductive age)
• irregular ovulation, with or without monthly bleeding
• acne
• excess hair growth on the face and body
• thinning scalp hair
• accumulation of unruptured follicles on the periphery of the ovaries (mislabeled as "cysts", often called polycystic ovaries)

It is not necessary to have all of these symptoms to have PCOS. In fact it is not necessary to have "polycystic ovaries" to have PCOS. PCOS manifests itself differently in each woman.
http://www.pcosupport.org

Q. What can we as your family/friends do to help?

(Like not offer alcohol at Christmas party)

A. This one is kinda funny.....once you start the process of fertility treatments you are expected to treat your body as if you are pregnant. So, no drinking, only certain medicines you can take, limit your caffeine and don't eat certain foods.
Mark and I were at a Christmas Party and was asked if we would like an alcoholic drink. We politely declined. It was a family member so I felt inclined to remind them that we are doing treatments and would pass. The whole party got to hear our conversation.
-Just be supportive
-Pray for us
-If we are sad, let us be sad
-Check on us periodically
-Treat us normal, we aren't broken

Marks A. Be helpful and supportive.

Q. What things have helped y'all most?

A. Our Faith, Each Other and You Guys!!! Also see the section "Staying Strong".
Marks A. Knowing that we aren't the only couple facing infertility. Remembering God is in control.

Q. How do you handle people who say "Cathy, I would just be lost if I couldn't have kids."

A.I think as women we like to feel needed and wanted. So of course having kids who are dependent on you makes us feel sufficient. Mark and I have really enjoyed our time alone getting to know each either and building a strong relationship. I find my identity in being a Godly women. If I do all that I can to fulfill the call God has put on my life I will feel complete.

Q. Is adoption an option for you and Mark? With all the kids in the world why not just adopt?

A. When Mark and I started opening up about infertility we were asked "why not just adopt" as easy as "just adopt" sounds it's not that simple. Take a look at some facts.

There are two stages in the adoption process: pre-placement and post-placement. Placement is when the child enters your home, pre-placement describes the time before and post-placement the time after. There is a pre-placement waiting period for all adoptions. The time frame, like the cost, varies with the type of child being adopted. With a completed homestudy in hand, the wait is typically between two and seven years for a healthy infant.

Costs of adopting a healthy infant through a private agency or attorney in the United States range from several thousand dollars to $30,000 or more.

Q. Do you ever get comfortable with doctor visits? I know I cry every time my mom tells me I need to go to the doctor and get checked. Have you gotten comfortable yet?

A. Unfortunately I have! After 12 years of having PCOS and now starting treatments it becomes second nature to go in for an exam or for an ultrasound. The worst part for me is in the waiting room!
Marks A. NO!!!!!

Q. If u met someone in the same situation as you what advice would u give or tell them to do different?

A. I would tell them to have faith God has a plan. Get a support group of friend who you can be vulnerable with and wont judge you. Find a Dr. who you are comfortable with. Follow your gut. If a treatment doesn't feel right don't do it.

Marks A: Be patient and understanding with your wife and her needs. Pray A LOT:) Be honest and vulnerable with each other. You are not alone. You are not the only couple experiencing this disappointment.

Q. Through this whole journey, what is the most encouraging words someone has told you?

A. The one that stands out the most to me is: One of our sweet Moms came up to me one day at Church and said "Your story (of infertility) doesn't just speak to other women like you but to us Moms as well. It's a good reminder for us not to take our kids for granted but to love them".

The random texts: I'm praying for guys, You are an inspiration, You are so strong, I'm so proud of you, and you are a blessing. These always speak to Mark and I. Some of the have been received on our darkest days when no one but God knows what's happening in our lives.

Mark A. The moment that stands out the most to me is the day of our 2nd IUI. It was a Sunday. Some of the men of our Church gathered around and prayed over me and for Cathy.

 Q. After all of the investment of money and time, do u ever get down and frustrated and just completely want to give up? If so what keeps your faith up?

A. If I said that I don't get down in the dumps I would be lying. In October Mark and I found out that our 2nd IUI had failed. For some reason I took this one the hardest.  I was ready to quite. I was emotionally and physically drained. I was tired of taking medicine, of being on a schedule, of being sick,  and wanted a break. The Dr. had recommended 3 IUI's and that was our plan of action. Mark could see how everything was taking its toll on me and I made it very known that I was ready to give up. Mark reminded me that we had agreed on a plan and he wanted to continue. So we prayed that God would give us strength and He did!!  We continued on with on 3rd IUI that was also unsuccessful. When its hardest to read your Bible or pray is the time you need it the most. Some days I had to rely on God to help me make it through the day. That's where God wants us. Relying on him and not trying to rely on our own strength.